A year ago, my world ended.
On 7/15/2006 at 4:55 p.m., Cayleigh Aurora was born weighing 15.3 ounces and 11 inches long.
She was my everything. I have a permanent hole in my heart, soul and life.
I know that there will never be anything or anyone that can fill that or make it easier. But I also know she wouldn't want me to let my life waste away.
I thank God for the precious people still in my life.
And I look forward to the day I can be with her again.
I'll always love you baby girl.

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.


x-posted

One of our cats died. It was pretty sudden and unexpected.

I am incredibly sick with the flu. Now that the body aches are gone my cough is the worst of it. And it's getting worse. Oh and I can hardly talk. I've lost most of my voice. I hate this. It's spring now damnit. I'm not supposed to be sick now.

This weekend is my mom's birthday party and a concert in GR. I hope to god I'm better enough so that I'm not hacking through it.

I have a lot of stuff on my mind. Responsibilities that need to be taken care of. But I know it's not going to happen right now with all this. I'm grateful that people have been patient but I'm afraid it may be wearing thin. So I really hope I'm in recovery next week and am able to work on things.

Ugh.

I took this quiz:







And it told me I was passive and to use this Anti-Seduction Guide for the Passive:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/145/422423980_15c555d465_o.jpg

Excellent...

I am so doing this:

The Letter T

Given to me by ragtimematt.

1. Tape
2. Trinkets
3. Traveling
4. Trains
5. Tornados
6. Theaters
7. Thunderstorms
8. Tranquility
9. Teppanyaki
10. Trees

Comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list 10 things you love that begin with that letter. After, post this in your journal, and give out some letters of your own.

These are both Josh Groban songs that apply to me right now. I love them so I'm sharing them:


Where You Are

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be

That you are my
Forever love
And you are watching over me
From up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me
Everyday

Cause you are my forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe that angels breath
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Download To Where You Are.mp3



Remember

Remember
I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory

Remember
When your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
Just remember me

I am the one star that keeps burning
So brightly
It is the last light
To fade into the rising sun

I'm with you whenever you tell
My story
For I am all I've done

Remember
I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory
Remember me

I am that warm voice in the cold wind
That whispers
And if you listen
You'll hear me call across the sky

As long as I still can reach out
And touch you
Then I will never die

Remember
I'll never leave you
If you will only
Remember me

Remember
I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory

Remember
When your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
I live forever
Remember me
Remember me
Remember me

Download Remember.mp3

X-posted to myspace...

Ok,
I've decided to start being generous and share some of my huge music collection with anyone that's interested. Since I hardly use this journal anymore it will give it a purpose. I'll post a few songs every few days I think.
To kick it off I'll share the new Evanescence CD, Open Door which technically comes out in October so it may be a bad idea for me to post this. But I really like it, especially the last song. So I'll be bad and spread my pirated music lol. Enjoy!

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=7FA1C6004124BE25

An empty house, a broken fairy tale
A hollow girl with empty arms
From an angel's tears God made the stars
Why can't He make me an unbreakable heart



The Clueless n. 1. folks who haven't lost a child and just don't get it.

The Clueful n. 1. folks who haven't lost a child and who try really, really hard to understand.

"Grieving is an invitation to what we believe to be divine. We will find in this hallowed meeting the blessing of our every emotion and the grace to believe in the mystical power of whatever we are feeling." - Molly Fumia